Why Covid Cancelling Cricket hurts for me

You're my therapist on this one.

10th Sep:

One of my favourite TV shows ever (it’s really that good, check it out), is the Japanese anime Attack On Titan. It’s the story of how the last surviving human colony battle man-eating Titans, mindless, giant, humanoid creatures. The first arc of the anime highlights humanity’s fight against an enemy they know very little about. They’re unable to decipher who these creatures are, what they want, and how they can be truly defeated. You can’t fight what you don’t understand. 

I’m thinking about this show because the cancellation of the 5th Test due to Covid (not due to the IPL, as many pundits insist), has hit home. I don’t know about all of you but when cricket is impacted by Covid it feels personal. When I think about cricket cancellations due to Covid, it takes me back a year and a half. I was a part of the last major sporting event that took place before Covid, the Women’s World T20 final at the MCG. That event was on March 8th, Women’s Day. The Melbourne Grand Prix was scheduled for the next weekend. It didn’t make it, as the world slid into lockdown. I was so lucky. 

Days later, I remember reading the news that someone in that magical crowd of 86,174 people, the largest crowd in the history of a women’s cricket event (by far), had tested positive. I spent 10 days in isolation back home wondering whether I had bumped into that person while wandering through the stands of the MCG, soaking in the atmosphere. Was I so lucky?

Today’s canccellation brought back memories of the uncertainty we all felt in those first few months, where we grappled with an adversary we barely understood. You can’t fight what you don’t understand. 

What were you supposed to be doing while watching the 5th Test between India and England?

I was supposed to be prepping slides for the Sports Journalism course session I have to conduct this evening. I was looking forward to working on Canva while watching the game. Cover drive while talking about cover art seemed like a good plan. Instead I’m writing a newsletter I didn’t plan to, just to help process my feelings. 

I had been off Twitter the whole day, and only logged in an hour before the toss, to realise what was unfolding. Thank God for that, otherwise I would have spent the entire morning doom scrolling, and not just the couple of hours after lunch. Yes, reading about a canceled Test doesn’t really count as doom scrolling, it’s not the end of the world. It shouldn’t matter. It matters so much. 

I remember feeling exactly like this the last time. No, it was worse the last time. 

The last time, when the IPL was suspended almost exactly halfway, I wrote this piece, once again mostly to process what I’d been feeling about it. 

(Hindustan Times articles are not paywalled, you can skip the registration process required. Don’t tell my editor I told you that.)

This time, after the cancellation of the Test, I had no energy to work. A combination of two weeks with 10-hour days, and the news that the fifth Test was suspended, had me burned out. I tried to write this piece as a route to catharsis, failed, and napped instead. I’m a morning person and rarely sleep during the day. When I do, it usually means I’m usually struggling physically or mentally. And today I really needed to. It’s only after restoring some energy reserves that I could sit down and start typing this. 

11th Sep:

It’s now more than 24 hours later, and I’ve been able to better articulate why I was so affected by the news of the 5th Test’s cancellation. It took my mind back to the months of crisis, both global and personal, as lockdown seemed never ending and financial uncertainty became constant. Sport disappeared and freelance budgets quickly followed. Will it ever get better?

I know I was one of the lucky ones, who had the privilege to look for opportunity in that adversity. That period forced me to re-examine my business models. That period is what prompted the creation of the Cricket With Snehal Online Academy (the home for my cricket coaching program), and the Sports Journalism course I teach. 

So last evening’s events bring back an anxiety, an anxiety that birthed some of my best and most surprising work. It does get better. 

For me, some rest, time away from work, and time spent outdoors usually provides a good antidote to this feeling. How lucky that a hike with friends that we have been planning for weeks was on the agenda for this morning. There very little the outdoors can’t cure. 

Anyway, thanks for listening, reading, and helping me through this. And let me know, what were you supposed to be doing while watching the fifth Test? How personal is it for you, and how are you coping?